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Quit Your Job or Not Quit Your Job: Time to Go or Stay?
Vidya Raman • May 22, 2022
People are quitting their jobs like never before.
The pandemic has given us time and space to reflect and evaluate the quality of our lives. The decision to change jobs may be triggered for various reasons, job satisfaction, meaning and fulfillment, money, and flexibility are a few examples. The idea of reclaiming control and taking ownership of our careers has taken hold for most of us.
I quit an executive position with good perks last month because I had this aching sense that I was not living my purpose and calling. My talents and competencies were not being utilized. I tried to proactively create opportunities to live my calling at work but a gnawing feeling of uneasiness was consuming me. The voice inside me cautioned me about the regret that was going to envelop me in a few years for not living my calling, which was using my insights from lived experiences and lifelong learning to positively impact the lives of others. You may be sensing discomfort now. But before you consider typing up your resignation letter, I strongly suggest that you first consider whether you are quitting for the right reasons. Have you done a deep dive on the reasons compelling you to quit? Could a perception shift and some new insights help you reconsider? Could a coach or mentor help clarify your situation for you? You may believe that you have no autonomy at work, but if you evaluate broadly and deeply, you may discover that you have more power than you think. Is it a knee-jerk reaction to burnout? You may also discover that you do enjoy your job during certain periods, but you're feeling uneasy now because you are experiencing boredom. This happens when you're not challenged intellectually or creatively.
There are opportunities to stretch and learn new skills. The solution to boredom at work isn't always jumping ship and finding a new job. If you still enjoy substantial parts of your work, that's a good sign. It might just be that you need to shake things up by adding a little bit of spice to your daily routine or picking up a new hobby to master. You could also speak up and ask for new opportunities to contribute more or to take on more responsibility which could even lead to greater visibility in the organization.
During the period when I was contemplating my next steps, I devoured articles, watched insightful YouTube videos, conducted self-assessments, and more to help me evaluate my situation comprehensively. It goes without saying, that you want to be sure that you're making the move for the right reasons.
Here are some key considerations that could apply to most people currently contemplating their next steps in their careers.
- You have a Bad Manager(with no possibility of a change): Working under a bad manager can be soul-crushing. Your life is hijacked by such a person and your health, both physical and mental, will suffer long-term consequences. He could be a bully, slave driver, micromanager, insecure, gas lighter, and a narcissist. Sadly, going to Human Resources is rarely a good option for most, especially if your manager has clout with the senior leadership team. If you have sincerely tried to move internally with no success, you may have no other choice than to look elsewhere.
- You are not appreciated for your work and have no opportunities for growth. As humans, we seek validation and want to feel like we belong to a community. When we feel our results are ignored and overlooked, a sense of futility takes over. When you see no changes, after you have proactively raised this issue with your leaders, it is time to leave.
- Your intuition is telling you that something is off. It could be that your senses have picked up the rampant hypocrisy and lack of integrity in the organization. Corporate values are nothing more than empty labels. An unbalanced power dynamic across corporate functions causes great pain in individuals who are driven by a strong motive to give their best to the organization. They realize that they are among the few who care about the organization and notice that the more successful counterparts have mastered toxic office politics and are purely motivated by self-interests.
- You feel like you are working for the weekend. The workdays are nothing more than instruments that drain your energy. None of your daily tasks and activities give you any joy or sense of accomplishment. You wake up dreading the day and more importantly, you know you are not living a purpose-driven life. You've got to honor those feelings because that's your inner self trying to highlight some important information. The right thing to do is to have an honest self-audit and decide.
We have got to make sure that it's an environment where you feel empowered. Based on your reflection and evaluation of your current circumstance, it may be the right time for you to join the Great Resignation movement or just reframe and reinvent your current role at work. Either way, I wish you all the very best with your decision-making.
Feeling rejected at work sadly occurs all too often. The question I am asking here is how do you process it after the initial shock loses its grip on you. Every painful realization needs a dedicated period for reflection to understand the hidden gem buried in the perceived rejection. Use it as a stepping stone on your march toward progress and growth. Do you instinctively retreat and play small when you feel rejected at work? Does it lead to you not speaking up in meetings because you fear overstepping your boundaries? Sometimes staying under the radar for a while gives you time to assess and regroup. Rejection often signals that something is off-kilter in terms of your perceived value or social standing in the corporate hierarchy. Your instinctive reaction to retreat is normal. Taking a little downtime for reflection is essential. However, if you retreat for too long, you deprive yourself of growth opportunities and lose valuable time in which you could have showcased your presence, strengths, and talents. Playing small for long periods serves no one, especially YOU. To come out ahead after a perceived rejection, take the time to objectively assess the situation. Often a precious gem is buried in a rejection. During moments of confusion and doubt, what you need most is clarity. Our observation skills need to be top form. Pay attention to the situation, the players, and yourself. Ask, is it personal? Know that our filters and biases may be clouding our perception. Most of the rejections we face aren’t personal and can be attributed to factors and causes we can't see yet. Here, assuming good intent will help alleviate the pain and accelerate our recovery from the perceived rejection. If you inadvertently caused it, you now have the power to fix it in the next iteration. After you have ruled out all other causes, you may conclude that the intent behind the rejection was not virtuous. Take comfort in the fact that your detractors have strengthened you, clarified your vision, and set you on a better path. Biographies of most successful people point to rejection as an inflection point in their forward trajectory. Rejection in this case is a "Redirection" to something better.
Likability is a double-edged sword at work. Wanting to be liked is universal and nothing wrong with that. To varying degrees, most of us seek the approval of others.Let’s talk about how it can hurt us first. When you take on a People-Pleaser identity, you start compromising your personal preferences to be liked. You abandon yourself, your feelings, and your true nature. You incorrectly assume that by being agreeable you will be seen as kind. You can’t say no, you feel responsible for how others feel, and you apologize even when it is not your fault.This behavior can backfire when others start seeing you as less confident and competent. If career progression is a goal, watch out for behaviors that can be perceived as subservient. Don’t play small just to be liked.Moving on to the helpful side of likability.When you are seen as a competent and confident go-getter, you may unconsciously take on an aura of arrogance. The conversations you have at work are all about you and your many successes. If you are constantly trying to impress people, it may have the opposite effect. It is off-putting for others in your sphere, and it has the potential to limit your career progress.Building meaningful partnerships at work needs both likability and credibility. Be genuinely interested in others and listen actively. Follow up with someone just to chat, and not because you need something from them. Your outreach will feel less transactional and more sincere. Your genuine interest in others will move up your likability score and possibly your career trajectory.I’ll wrap this up by saying, follow the Goldilocks principle when it comes to Likability, not too hot and not too cold.Do you agree?
In honor of your bright future, plant a seed today. The path to the harvest will not be easy but know that nothing of value comes without a tradeoff or a difficult choice.Often, we give up on our dreams because the effort to get there can feel daunting.The days, months, and possibly years it takes to realize our dreams may feel lonely, and difficult. But, know that without those days there will be no bountiful harvest of our dreams realized.Building daily consistent habits will get you closer, and faster to your goal. When we act on our vision in bite-sized increments, the journey feels less challenging.Take a few minutes every day to intentionally take that one step outside your comfort zone. 🎯You are in control. You get to choose -the pain of regret or the pain of discipline. Don't you owe it to your future self?
Passed over for a promotion yet again? You put in the time and effort to grow your self-awareness after the last couple of performance cycles. You worked on sharpening your communication skills, stepped outside your comfort zone, and showed up every day with an attitude of service, and yet, here you are being tested again. This time around, the invalidation hurts.
Team
Leaders – Are you frustrated by a disengaged employee in your team? Do they
appear cynical and recalcitrant to you? That is often a presentation layer of
an underlying hurt.Here is something you may want to consider about the team member.
-There is a likelihood that the employee has been burned before,
especially when they were passionate and wanted to serve with the noblest of
motives. It is easy to lose faith after a few poor experiences.-They start believing that their skill and passion are of no value to
their leaders.-When all they see is a minefield ahead for sharing their knowledge and
gifts, cynicism starts taking hold. Sadly, it also leaves them with an unfulfilled desire to make a difference. These steps may help-
1. Focus your one-on-one conversations on their
passions. Be sincere. If possible, avoid scripted lines from a manager handbook,
because they rarely flow out as sincerely as one would hope. People can smell a
phony from a mile away.
2. Get to know them as a person. Be curious and
actively listen.
3. Let them bring their creativity and unique
selves to work. Give them opportunities to showcase it.
4. Recognize them and their contribution in group
settings.
Do you agree? Care to share your observations?
Do you retreat and hide when you feel rejected at work? Do you stop speaking up in meetings? Do you try to stay under the radar?Rejection often signals that something is wrong in terms of your perceived value or social standing in the corporate hierarchy. Your instinctive reaction to retreat is normal. Taking a little time for analysis and reflection is just what the doctor ordered. However, if you retreat for too long, you deprive yourself of growth opportunities and lose valuable time in which you could have showcased your gifts and talents. Playing small serves no one, especially you.To come out ahead after a perceived rejection, take the time objectively to assess the situation.Ask, is it personal? Know that our filters and biases may be clouding our perception. Most of the rejections we face aren’t personal and can be attributed to factors we can't see yet. Here, assuming good intent will help alleviate the pain and accelerate our recovery from the perceived rejection.Sometimes, in a rejection is buried
Are you listening to the whispers from your intuition or paying attention to the little breadcrumbs the universe is laying out for you? If not, what clues are you missing?
It’s Not Fair! We have all heard children scream these words when they experience an unjust outcome. As rational adults, we acknowledge and accept that life is not fair, but somehow unwittingly get trapped in a cycle of misery and bitterness when things don’t work out ‘fairly’, in our favor. We doom ourselves to unrelenting frustration when life doesn’t meet our expectations. For example, you are burned by toxic office politics. You are exhausted watching less experienced and less competent team members get ahead. You question the futility of your skills and efforts. Most of us have been sucked into the ‘woe is me’ vortex, at some point or the other.
Does it annoy you
when people waste your time? I have to assume the answer is a resounding ‘YES’,
especially when you are working on important activities.
Have you
experienced weeks when you wanted to wrap up an important task, only to have a
coworker hijack your plan with impunity for their urgent tasks? This lack of
planning on their part was a pet peeve of mine and that raised my sensitivity
to the limited time of my colleagues.
In fact,
year after year, in my annual performance self-assessment, I would include a
line about the care and respect I showed for everyone’s time. I wore it as a
badge of honor. We experience this lack of respect regularly when we spend more
time than we should on comprehending poorly formulated emails, or sit through a
meandering meeting with no agenda.
Sadly, time
is the only thing in life that you can never get back once it’s gone.
How are you
protecting your most valuable resource? Care to share?
I protect
the first three hours of my day at all costs. I do have a very early start
time! If I have a task I dread on my to-do list, it will be the first one I
tackle, otherwise, my most creative tasks get those precious early hours of the
day.
As Jim Rohn
noted ‘ “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.” You get to choose.
Have false
comparisons and the accompanying judgments brought you down? The operative
word here is ‘false’. Comparison is valuable when deciding between ‘similar’
products and we do that often before we order online. Humans, on the other
hand, are unique, complex, and multi-dimensional.
When we
compare ourselves to others, the judgment we make and the conclusions we arrive
at are often counterproductive. Often, the data gathered is faulty and the
filters we use are skewed toward one outcome, which is to confirm our bias that
the other person has it is better than us. At the same time, we ignore our
gifts, strengths, virtues, and values.
Social
media posts with exotic vacation pictures, glamor shots, and recognitions are
highlight reels of others. Sadly, we compare that to our everyday. It is easy
to fall prey to comparisons and doubt our own competencies and self-worth.
As Theodore
Roosevelt’s famous quote noted, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy”.
Besides
stealing your joy, the comparison will crush your self-esteem and build layers of
insecurities in your personality. Excavating through the hard sediments of
self-doubt and insecurities can set you back years from reaching your own
unique destination.
Don’t let
distractions like others’ journeys and milestones keep you from your own. If
your work colleague gets recognized, wish them well, and move on. Don’t
ruminate and dwell on it. It is not about proving yourself but improving
yourself every day..
There is
one thing that you’re better at than any other and that is being you. As Oscar
Wilde famously said, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
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vidya@vidyaraman.com