The Secret Skill That Helps You Win in High-Stakes Rooms
Early in my project management career pivot, I led a meeting to align the team on the next steps for a project. Nothing controversial. It already had broad consensus. It should have been simple.
What should have been a quick alignment turned into an unanticipated power play. One functional lead hijacked my well-considered agenda to push his own priorities, and another raised her voice to defend her turf. The atmosphere shifted quickly from collaborative to combative.
I tried to steer the conversation back, but my pleas and mild directives were largely ignored. My voice and confidence faltered, and I watched the room slip away. I was no longer leading my meeting. My manager was silently observing me from across the table, and I could feel myself coming undone. For days after that, I replayed the moment, wondering how I had allowed both my meeting and my mind to be hijacked. I had always thought of myself as calm under pressure, but that day taught me a humbling lesson.
I realized that if I ever wanted to truly lead the room, I had to steady myself first, especially when the pressure was high.
What I See in My Career Coaching Practice
The most common challenge my career advancement clients face isn’t capability or productivity. It’s staying composed and strategic while navigating egos, politics, and high-pressure rooms that drain their focus and chip away at their confidence.
It’s not the workload that burns them out. It’s the emotional weight of navigating people. The politics. The passive-aggressive emails. The meetings that feel more like battlegrounds than brainstorming sessions. The colleague who deletes your name from the deck and then compliments your outfit in the hallway like nothing ever happened.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
Respond, Don’t React
Viktor Frankl said it best: between stimulus and response, there is a space. Use that space wisely. Steadiness lives there. It’s where you pause, choose your response, and protect your power. The more you practice it, the more influence you gain without raising your voice or losing your cool.
When you're grounded, it's easier to stay aligned with your goals, your values, and the bigger picture. Steadiness gives you emotional clarity. It sharpens your thinking. It helps you focus on what truly matters, instead of spending your day mentally defending yourself or bracing for the next outburst.
Lead yourself first, and others will trust you to lead them too.
Daily Habits That Build Steadiness
These are the practices I share with my clients and use in my own life.
1. Pause before your day begins Before checking your emails, check in with yourself. Are you already feeling tense, angry, or overwhelmed? Don’t ignore it. Write it down. Journaling your state of mind helps lighten the mental load and gives your brain space to reset.
Then ask yourself, “How do I want to show up today?” Not just what you want to do, but who you want to be. Maybe clear, calm, and curious. I used a simple daily chant to anchor myself during my corporate days: Calm and Cheerful. It shaped my disposition and helped me manage perceptions at work.
2. Zoom out Use the weekends to step back and reconnect with the bigger picture. What do you really want from your work and your life? Ask yourself a series of “Why” questions. Keep digging. You may realize that what you truly want is to grow, lead with purpose, and win the long game.
That kind of clarity takes time. It may take a few weekends of honest reflection. But the more you zoom out, the easier it becomes to lose the small battles and still win the war. It helps you rise above daily drama and stay focused on what actually moves you forward. Consciously reduce the stakes at work.
3. Shrink the trigger Same situation, different day. When you catch yourself reacting to a familiar stressor such as a certain tone, a difficult teammate, or a recurring issue, pause and reframe it. Say to yourself, “This is just a rerun, not a crisis.” You already know how it plays out. Don’t waste fresh energy on old drama.
Grace Under Pressure
Real power isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about being the most grounded. Reduce the stakes by not overidentifying with your role and job description. You are not your job. Your job is what you do, not who you are. Grace under pressure is built through daily habits.
When you lead with steadiness, people trust you more. You protect your energy and focus on what actually moves the needle.
Why Waste Energy on Someone You’ll Forget?
You’ve likely forgotten the names of past energy vampires—the ones who drained you in old jobs but no longer matter. So why obsess over people who will play little to no role in your future?
I recently ran into someone just like that at a local restaurant. Years ago, he regularly undermined me and erased my contributions. As I sat down, I whispered to my husband, “That’s the guy who tortured me at work.” Then I laughed at the realization that I couldn’t remember his name. I had to search LinkedIn by company just to place him.
Why give that much mental space to someone who ends up being irrelevant?
Ask yourself: Who are you letting live rent-free in your head, and what might open up if you cleared that space?
The path to career advancement and real influence starts by reclaiming your focus. Let go of what no longer deserves space, and steady yourself for what’s next. Be that Grace Under Pressure.
May you lead with presence, protect your energy, and rise with calm strength.
Vidya Raman
Career Growth - Professional Growth - Career Advancement - Communication Skills - Presentation Mastery - Interview Skills













